Why I Wrote Engage to Excel: A Call to Reconnect, Reimagine, and Truly See Our Students

If you’ve spent any time in schools, especially middle schools, you know something is shifting. You can feel it in the hallways, see it in classrooms, and hear it in conversations with educators who are trying their best but are stretched thin.

Middle school students are different. Their needs are different. Their emotional maturity is developing at a time when the world around them is more complex than ever.

And yet, despite this, one truth remains:

Students will rise when they feel seen, valued, and connected.

This is why I wrote Engage to Excel.

It’s more than a book. It’s a framework, a mindset, and an urgent call to action for schools to close the achievement gap through real connection.

Not compliance.Not control.Connection.

The Achievement Gap Is a Connection Gap

As educators, we talk a lot about academic gaps, but we don’t talk enough about the relational gaps that drive them. When a student is struggling academically, you can almost always trace it back to a lost connection or a damaged relationship with a teacher.

I wrote Engage to Excel because I’ve seen firsthand how powerful it is when educators slow down long enough to build authentic relationships.

When students feel emotionally supported:

• Their academic confidence grows.

• Their willingness to take risks and drive their own learning grows.

• Their sense of belonging grows.

Schools cannot hope to close achievement gaps without addressing connection gaps, and connection does not come from a curriculum.

It comes from genuine educators who are committed to building authentic relationships with their students.

Middle School: A Stage of Identity, Emotion, and Challenge

Middle school students occupy a complicated developmental space.

They are forming their own identities while trying to fit in, navigating new emotions, and responding to intense social pressure. They are in a vulnerable stage. They are not little kids anymore, but they are also not fully ready for the independence they think they want. This creates friction.

Some students shut down.Some seek attention in ways adults interpret as disrespect.Some test limits to see who will stay consistent and who will give up.Some withdraw because being invisible feels safer than being wrong.

These behaviors are not signs of defiance. They are signals of unmet needs.

As educators, we must be incredibly self-aware, reflective, and honest about our own triggers.

• Why do certain behaviors irritate us?

• Why do we react differently to some students than others?

• Why are certain students harder for us to connect with?

• What are we carrying into the classroom that shapes our reactions?

This level of self-awareness is essential if we want to guide our most dependent learners toward independence.

My Passion for Schools: Putting Children First, Always

Anyone who knows me knows this:I love working in school communities.

I love helping educators see what is possible when we shift from managing students to supporting them.I love watching teachers tap back into their sense of purpose.I love seeing students light up when they feel seen, heard, and understood.

But most of all, I believe deeply that children deserve adults who will not give up on them—especially those who need more from us. Dependent learners are not behind. They are waiting for someone willing to invest time, patience, and consistency.

This book exists because too many students go unnoticed, especially those who do not outwardly ask for help but whose behaviors tell a different story.

The Student Who Reminded Me Why This Work Matters

One story that stays with me is about a middle school student who was completely closed off.

He never engaged.He did not raise his hand.He barely spoke.He avoided eye contact.He blended into the background—but not because he did not care. He had learned to protect himself.

Every teacher had a different interpretation of his silence:

• “He is unmotivated.”

• “He is lazy.”

• “He does not want to be here.”

But something told me to keep trying.

One day, he invited me to his soccer game. I showed up. He did not play much, but I noticed his mother and grandmother in the stands, steady, unwavering support. After the game, he walked up to me immediately and thanked me for coming.

The following week, something shifted.

This same student, who had barely spoken in group, raised his hand and asked,“Is it normal to love my uncle more than my dad?”

The room went silent.

He had been holding on to this for years. He had not spoken to his father since his father had been deported.

That moment unlocked trust.

From there, he began to engage. We set goals. He started improving, not just academically, but socially and emotionally. Little by little, he opened up.

Not dramatically. Not overnight. But steadily.

And it reminded me of something we easily forget:

Students are not disengaged by choice—they are disengaged by experience. Connection can be the bridge back.

His transformation did not happen because of a strategy. It happened because of presence, patience, and belief.

That is the heart of Engage to Excel.

Why This Book Matters Now

Schools do not need another program. They need a framework that centers humanity.

I wrote Engage to Excel because educators deserve practical tools, reflection prompts, and relational strategies that work with real students in real classrooms.

But even more importantly, students deserve adults who understand:

• Their developmental stage

• Their emotional world

• Their triggers

• Their needs

• Their potential

This book is for every educator who wants to do more than teach content.

It is for educators who want to change lives.

Take the Next Step

If you are ready to reconnect with your students, strengthen your impact, and transform your classroom, Engage to Excel is here to guide you.

Pre-order your copy today and start applying the strategies that help students feel seen, heard, and supported.

If you are a school or district interested in workshops, professional learning sessions, or coaching based on the book, reach out directly and we can create a customized program for your educators.

Your students are waiting for you to see them. Let’s make that connection.

Pre-order Engage to Excel: https://vilenti-tulloch.mykajabi.com/engage-to-excel